I Have No Idea What I'm Doing (Welcome to My Newsletter)
(First one. Deep breaths.)
So here’s the thing...
I’ve written online before. Medium posts. LinkedIn thoughts. The occasional thing that felt important enough to share.
But never with any regularity.
Never consistently.
And definitely never with the feeling that I actually had a voice.
More like... sporadic bursts of “I should probably say something about this.”
Then silence for six months.
Repeat.
So why now?
I’m not totally sure.
There’s this voice in my head that’s been getting louder. Thoughts about game design. About AI. About the weird ethical corners the industry keeps backing itself into.
And I’ve been having these thoughts for years.
Sometimes I’d write a Medium post. Get it 80% done. Never publish.
Sometimes I’d start a LinkedIn thread. Delete it.
Because what if it’s boring?
What if I don’t actually have anything interesting to say?
What if 25 years as a UI designer means I know how to make buttons... but not how to write about making buttons?
(That last one keeps me up at night.)
The comparison trap is brutal.
I follow these writers who just seem to get it.
Clear voice. Distinct perspective. They know their lane.
And here I am like... what’s my lane? Game design ethics? UI/UX? AI and creativity?
The intersection of all three?
I keep trying to find the “thing” I should write about.
The niche. The angle.
And then I freeze.
Plot twist: I’m overthinking this.
(Shocking, I know.)
A friend told me last week: “Just write what you’re actually thinking about. The voice thing will figure itself out.”
Which sounds nice but also... what if my thoughts aren’t fully formed yet?
What if I’m still figuring stuff out?
Then he said: “That’s literally the point of writing. To figure stuff out.”
Oh.
So here’s what I’m doing...
I’m publishing this.
Even though it’s basically just me admitting I have no idea what I’m doing.
Because maybe the first step is just... showing up?
Regularly?
Without waiting until I have something “important” to say?
(I’m trying to convince myself here.)
What this newsletter might become...
Honestly? I’m not sure yet.
But here’s what I’m thinking about lately:
The uncomfortable stuff about game design (ethics, manipulation, where the line is)
AI and what it means to be a designer when AI can do half your job
This whole process of finding voice after years of sporadic writing
The industry, the weird intersection of art and commerce and addiction
So... yeah.
Not exactly a focused editorial calendar.
More like “here’s what I’m wrestling with this week.”
Why you might want to stick around...
(Assuming you made it this far.)
I don’t have all the answers.
Actually, I mostly have questions.
But maybe that’s useful?
Maybe you’re wrestling with similar stuff?
Maybe you’ve also written sporadically online and never quite found your rhythm?
Maybe you work in games and have thoughts you’re not sure how to say out loud?
I dunno.
But if any of that resonates...
Welcome.
Let’s figure this out together.
Also...
Thanks for being here.
For reading this messy first attempt at consistency and for giving me a reason to finally commit to showing up.
Next time I’ll try to write something with an actual point.
(Maybe.)
Jon - “still figuring it out” - Wiggens